Ryoga Goes on E-Harmony
by Ringabel
Summary: Ryoga takes a trip onto the wonderous site of E-Harmony. What awaits him there ? Will he find friends? Or will he maybe find his true love ? Probably not. warning: minor sexual situations; rating M just in case.


Ryoga was lonely for a 14 year old and he didn't know who to ask out, so he decided to join a dating site called e-harmony. He didn't what to set up his profile; he had never made a profile before. Well beside for dueling because who needs one? He would ask his sister but then she would think he is weird for looking e-harmony. He signed up as OceanPurpleShark22. He was mad that the name Ryoga was taken on there. He saw that it said to set up what he was into and he liked both so he put bisexual and it said to fill out description but he didn't what. He said he was a duelist and won much championship.

Nobody requested him or anything. He was a little sad, he just wanted somebody he was tired of being alone. He got messaged by a girl named "Weed22BlazeIt" and she was hitting on him or so he think! He liked her profile it was a green weed, she looked nice.

"Hey what is your sexi?" Ryoga typed to her, he thought she was pretty cute once she sent a picture. "Wow you look nice do I know you." And it looked a lot like Kotori but Kotori would never be on this site right? "Uhmm… My name is Kotoetty!" he knew that sounded a lot like Kotori. It might be Kotori. "So what made you interest in me?" Ryoga typed. "idk I just saw u picture an u look like rly hot n stuff and I wud do u." he thought the girl typed really good.

"Haha thanks!" Ryoga replied and was smiling at his screen, he couldn't wait to meet this girl. "Hey you want to meet l8r?" he typed and the girl said no because they just met. "wow like uhm take me out n a internet date first lyk don't u kno the rulez of datin?!" the girl typed back angrily. He was sorry he didn't know, he was just so interested. "Ha ha sorry what do you want to do?" he asked and the girl typed back really slowly.

"Uhm u shud skype call with mi that b nice! I want hear u r sex voice!" The girl typed and Ryoga guessed he could give this girl his skype because she sounded p hot. "sure thing my skype is ryogacumashiro." And the girl typed back "haha hee hee is that a sex joke r u trying to get mi sleep wit u?! ;)" and she reply with sexy smile face and Ryoga had a very serious face on. "no it is my name wtf." He replied and girl was a little sad.

"kk my skype iz balloontitties69" the girl replied and Ryoga felt happy for once and he got a skype request from the girl. He was in love he thinks. "Hey so this is you right Koto?" he asked and then he heard a fat sweaty man voice coming out of the mic.

"Hey you sound really uh…. I don't want to offend you but you have a deep voice.." Ryoga said into the mic as he heard heavy breathing into the mic. "Mmm yeah baby are you going to talk or are you going to sext." And Ryoga had never skype sexed before.

"Are you Kotori?" Ryoga asked and he heard the deep sweaty voice breath out that they would be whoever they wanted him to be. "Oh um ok." Ryoga said and was a little uncomfortable. "So listen I—" and then he heard the girl yell out in a deep voice "TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES ON CAM OMG JUST LET ME SEE YOUR CHEST!" and Ryoga was uncomfortable so he hung up and they typed to him. "no ryoga im sorry dat was my brother!XD! we can call again kk? Just go on cam dis tiem!XD" and Ryoga guessed he could, everyone made mistakes. He did like this Kotori girl he met on e-harmony.

"Uhm so Kotori right? You wanted to see my chest-" he paused as he saw sweaty man boobs against the camera, he didn't think those were girl's. "Uhm.. I thought you said…"

"DUDE JUYST TAKE OFF UR SHIRT HOW HARD IS THIS." The not girl yelled into the camera. "I'm going to leave this call…" Ryoga said and hung up and the not girl typed to him. "wow wtf you said in ur profile that u r into boys n girls wtf why you hattin on me for bein a boy who want to b a girl wow wtf u r so rude mr. RyoGAY cumshiro!"

Ryoga didn't like being insulted so he blocked the guy and removed him from skype and reported him on e-harmony. That's when Ryoga realized that, that person was Tetsuo. It took him a good hard 20 minutes to realize it after staring at the picture of the man chest he had saw and took a screenshot of(he really liked them but didn't want to say anything!)

He got back on e-harmony and was looking around for some more hot date; he got a message from someone that said LOLHotKetchupXD and the message said "hey do you have any pet insurance?" and Ryoga looked at the boy's profile, he had red hair and a little black he seemed familiar. "Uhm.. nO?" he typed back and got a fast reply back.

"XD well you should get some; I'm about to BEAT THAT PSSY!" and Ryoga didn't know how to reply to that so he said, "hey you want my skype?" and LOLHotKetchupXD replied "haha sure! MY SKYPE IS THE BEST DUELISTDever!" and so Ryoga added him. He got a skype reply "LOL ur name is ryogacumshiro did you spell ur name wrong?XD because it says in ur profile that it is Kamishiro! Or were you being sexy?"

Ryoga was puzzled; he didn't understand why everyone kept pointing out this. "No wtf that is my name why do people keep saying this?!" and HOTKetchupXD replied "lol ok if u say so XD so want to skype call?!" and Ryoga said sure. He accepted it and was ready, he had his cam on. "Hey you look familiar—OH MY GOD YUMA."

"whoa ryoga I thought you knew it was me… this is awkward I thought you were just joking around! Wow Shark why are you looking for dates on e-harmony?" and Ryoga told him to shut up. "XD dude do you still want me to pound ur pssy?!" he typed to him because it was to naughty to say out loud. "Yuma what the…" and Yuma whispered into his mic "haha it is ok if you want me to! I'll come right over ;) mr. Ryoga cumashiro and make you..hahaha!" and Ryoga was extremely uncomfortable. "Yuma… I'm…"

"I thought this is what you always wanted Ryoga…HAHAHA JK PRANK CALL RYOGA HAHAH! You just got punked!" and Yuma hung up and removed Ryoga skype. Ryoga was very confused…"uhm.. okay.." and to the be honest he was a little turned on.

He checked his profile and no new messages, he decided to go do something else and he left the laptop on. So when he leaves his sister Rio sneak in his room. "This will help my lame loser brother get some." And she types into his profile. "Wow Ryoga's username is lame… OceanPurpleShark22…?" and she began fixing his description and began typing into the wall.

The description said:

Forgive English, I am Russia

I come to study music at America university. I am here little time and I am very hard stress. I am gay also this is very difficult for me I am very religiouns person. I never act to be gay with other men before. But after ia m in America 65 weeks I am my friend together he is gay also asia. He was show me favorite music visul style and then we are kiss

We sex together and I never before now a tell my mother about gay because I am very shame. As I fuck this asia boy to gazette listen it is very good to me but also I am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I am orgasm. I feel so guilty that I puick up telephone and call mother in Russia. I awaken her. It tooo talte fir stopping so iam cumming sex. Uiam very sex and guilty and crying and to music listening so yell her "I am cum from sex" (in Russia) she say what. I say "I am cum from sex" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl and I say "no I am cum from sex with asian man, I am cum from sex with visual kei man, I am in ass, I cum in ass." And my mother very angry me and she not get scared though.

I hung up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass I am guilt and feel very stupid and I wonder why do I listen gay music? Why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in asian ass to visual styles.

Rio chuckled at having finished his new profile and saved it. "I bet he'll get a lot of adds now!" and she left quickly because Ryoga was coming back from whatever he was doing. "Hey wow I got new messages!" he said as he began to read them one was from SexyHotCat99 and another from SmartChemGirl and another from Ryogasucksmydick.

"hello I am shy girl from America and you are a Russian fisher man?" the sexyhotcat99 said to him. He replied back "Haha no I'm from Japan! I don't get what you mean?! And hey want skype it is ryogacumshiro!" and so the sexyhotcat99 added him on skype and he got a skype request from someone named "MEOWcatsocool030" and he replied "hey want to skype chat? I mean call." He said and sexyhotcat99 replied "haha sure and call me cathy." And he was like what… cathy..? cathy…? Like cathy from his school..?

He didn't like Cathy or knew why she wanted to date him. "Uhm so Cathy you want to date me huh?" and sexyhotcat99 replied "what no I do not I thought your profile was funny so I wanted to talk then I realized you were ryoga… and that is weird and so.." she put on her cam and flashed her boobs and yelled out "haha look cat titties." And she hung up and removed him from skype. "..I don't know how to reply or feel about this.." he feels kind of turned on but knows he shouldn't be. "well.. I got two other hot chicks to reply anyway…"

He checked his e-harmony messages "Hi SmartChemGirl want to skype me? My skype is.." and before he could even finish the girl typed back "No who would want to skype with an unintelligent faggot like yourself who cannot spell any word correctly in the English dictionary? Do you even know how to spell your name? You are a disgusting creature, Mr. Ryoga Kamishiro. Please learn English language. We are Japanese and you don't even know that, you piece of shit." And this was the first hate mail Ryoga had ever got. "Hey don't flame me cause I'm 2 sexy for u to handle baby sorry that im to hot for u stank ass pussy!" Ryoga replied to them and laughed at his witty reply. The girl was saddened by his reply. "You are a dumb person aren't you?"

"You want my skype?" Ryoga typed to SmartChemGirl and the girl would face palm in real life if she could show him. "Sure.. my skype is ButterflyHaxer." And Ryoga thought that was kind of cool. "Hey what do you want mi 2 call u?" Ryoga asked as he typed.

"Call me The Dark Destroyer Of Dreams." And Ryoga thought that was a long name "I'm just going to call Chem lol." And he skype called her. "hey so chem. What up im Ryoga and you are lucky to be talking to me cause im hella hot and I get lots of babes."

…The Dark Destroyer Of Dreams felt insulted by his speaking, she quickly began scanning his computer with her hacker tools because they didn't call her ButterflyHaxer for nothing. "You live in Japan, so do I. Your profile says Russia and America you must be really stupid, you live in a mansion; you have a sister named Rio.. and you are fourteen. Why is a fourteen year old on e-harmony? You can't spell worth your life, also I found your address and IP." And Ryoga was stunned; he didn't know what to do.

"YEAH WELL UR GAY." Ryoga hung up the skype call with that and blocked her and reported her for hacking. "I hope she doesn't come to my house.." he said and then he heard a voice in the mic "Oh I don't plan to trust me." He was scared because he had removed her?! How had she got back in. he was so scared. Words scrolled across his computer screen. The words read "Lol btw I hacked your computer, who is gay now?"

A bunch of Ads started to pop up about hentai and Ryoga began freaking out and yelled back "YOU." And slammed his face across the keyboard in an attempt to fix it.

"You are a sad person, I am sorry for you, I'm going to leave you alone now." The hacker then left and Ryoga checked his profile, it seemed fine. He didn't notice anything.

That's when he saw his new description but it didn't say what Rio put. It said…

OceanPurpleShark22:

Gender: M

Sexuality: Bisexual

Interests: LOL SO GAY

Hobbies: BEING GAY

Favorite food: Penis

Description: IF I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SQUART ACROSS THE ROOM,,, NOW THAT TURNS MW ON :)!? NOTHING LIKE HAVING THE BEST OEGAMIOM IN THE WORLD EVERYDAY,,, YEAH BABY ….

"What I didn't put this?!" Ryoga yelled out and got a reply from the hacker that he thought left. "I told you, who is gay now?" and he angrily whispered back "STILL YOU!" he checked his new messages anyway. The one he hadn't checked from Ryogasucksmydick many of them said, "Wow your profile is wow." And this one was new this one said, "I knew your profile was lame before but now? You really might want to change your sexuality. And everything, you might be hacked, RyoGAY."

"Who the # ^$%^! ARE YOU?!" Ryoga asked as it censored his messages to Ryogasucksdick for some reason. "I have child safety on, don't curse please." And Ryoga was mad he would do what he wanted. ":( No I will curse all I want!" and Ryogasucksdick replied, "Why use a sad face? Are you crying tears in real life?"

"This is cyber bullying! Knock it off! Or I'll find you and kick your asshole in! :)" Ryoga replied and he got a fast reply back again. "…That is harassment and please stop cursing or I will find YOU. And kick your fluffing donkey in." and Ryoga laughed and replied "LOL I DON'T HAVE A DONKEY OR A FLUFF HAHA DUMB ASS! :)"

Ryogasucksdick was getting annoyed he replied back "You are so dumb…" and Ryoga replied, "LOLI know you are but what am I? You want my skype?" and Ryogasucksdick said sure. "My skype is ryogacumshiro." And Ryogasucksdick replied "You can't even spell your own name…?" and Ryoga replied "WHAT I CAN TOO OH MY GOD XD SHUT UP UR SO STUPID!" and so Ryogasucksdick added him. He had an icon that was a photon… did this mean…? That's when he got a call from the skype and the name said "GalaxyGuitar." And he picked up. "uhm hello is this ryogasucksdick?" Ryoga asked.

"Did you just literally insult yourself?" The voice asked and Ryoga said, "No I know you are but what am I?" and the voice replied 'That.. doesn't even make sense.." and Ryoga replied "haha well shut up let us face cam." And so Ryogasucksdick agreed. "What can I call you?" and the voice replied "Master Cock." He told him. "what" Ryoga said.

That's when the cam started up and Ryoga smiled and waved "so can I see you Master Cock?" and so when the cam stopped circling a penis rose up into the camera. "whoa what is that?" and Master Cock replied "It is my penis." And Ryoga started "It is tiny." And Master Cock replied "Better than yours." And cock slapped into the camera.

"That's gross." Ryoga replied and then the voice of Master Cock showed his face "You just saw Kaito penis, how do you feel?" and Ryoga was in shock. "I don't… what the..?" and Kaito heard the door open "Oh shit my little brother, shit I have to my pants." And he quickly moved to the floor and Ryoga got a full view of his ass. "Damn… you can make my booty drop anytime…" Ryoga drooled. "…What? Ryoga shut up, I have Haruto in the house, oh my god wait you're Ryoga?!" and Ryoga replied "what is with everyone being so shocked?"

"I thought it was some troll so I was going to mess with them.. oops.." Kaito laughed and had put back on his pants. "You mess with people by showing them your penis?" Ryoga asked and Kaito didn't reply he got on his motorcycle and yelled "This never happened." And crashed into the camera and everything went black.

"…Ok" Ryoga said and was instantly removed on skype. Why did everyone remove him from skype..?

He checked his e-harmony profile one more time and it was from someone named SuperCoolKid4 "…I have a feeling who this is.." Ryoga said and quickly didn't bother reading the message and said "Hey you want my skype..?" he was getting tired. "Yeah I do. ;)" the guy replied with a smiley face. "My skype is Ryogacumshiro." And it took SuperCoolKid4 10 minutes to reply. "That is a really gay name." And Ryoga replied back "So I have been told." And SuperCoolKid4 replied back "k my name is Number4RocksHardCoreRyogaSucksMyDick." And Ryoga replied "Did you steal Kaito's name?" and SuperCoolKid4 replied "No why the hell would I steal that losers name?"

Ryoga ignored it and added him on Skype and saw his profile picture on Skype was a nipple. "Dude is that your nipple put a shirt on." And SuperCoolKid4 began caming him

"…Oh my god you're…" he began and that's when the voice laughed into the mic. "Get hard off my nipple Ryogaaaa?" he purred out, Ryoga couldn't tell if he wanted sex or what. "Do you want to cyber?" he asked and IV replied, "…No you aren't cool enough for my fan service!" and he pointed at Ryoga's shirtless body on the cam. "Haha no nip Ryoga…" and Ryoga was confused because he had nipples? "I have nipples wtf."

"..HAHA NO NIP RYOGA." He said and again and began laughing really hard as IV was laughing, his eyes looked down to his hands and yelled and his eyes bucked and he had a serious look on his face. "HELP, HELP." He yelled out. "What IV?"

"Ryoga…I… I… have.. cancer hands…" IV said and Ryoga began freaking out "oh god IV do you want me to call 911? Hang in there please, IV I never told you but I love you and… I would do you.. please don't leave my life, god I just want to tap that ass before you leave, please don't gooo if I wake up tomorrow will you still be there… please don't goooo… I don't know if you feel the way I do… but if you leave I'm come find you…! Baby please doesn't go!" IV couldn't stop laughing and yelled out into his mic "Haha Ryoga I was recording this, haha bye." And he hung up and removed him skype.

"God why does everyone remove me on skype?!" Ryoga yelled out, he just wanted friends, why didn't they like him?

Ryoga checked his profile one last time; this was his last time he would quit after this. If it didn't work. He read the message "Hey you seem like a nice guy, I'm BooksReader… and I think we could be good together, maybe you would like to go on a date? Have some coffee… or just cuddle on the couch, I could keep your hands warm to! Anything you want, I'd try my hardest." And Ryoga didn't believe this guy; he was trying to punk him.

"So would you like to maybe… skype chat? My skype is NaschIsACutie." And Ryoga replied to BooksReader "Look I don't know who you are but you need to piss off, you are a douche for trying to joke around with my heart! Everyone's been doing this; I just want to be happy! But I can't so screw this site and screw you and all the people on it! This one girl hacked my profile and everything and I am just done! You are the final straw, I quit, you are a man eating bag of poop, and you dumb bag of shits!" and finally he finished his rage quit. "I'M DONE I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THIS PLACE BTW AADD ME SKYPE. MY NAME ON THERE IS RYOGA CUMSHIRO PLEASE DON'T B A DOUCHE SHIT OK?" and he replied back before BooksReader could. ":) Thanks!"

He got a request in a matter of minutes "Hey, I'm Ryoga from e-harmony who are you BooksReader?" and he skype called him and he heard crying in the mic. "…You know what you said was really rude and insulting, I was actually being nice and you..!" he choked as he tried to speak into the mic but to many tears were rolling down his eyes and he was sniffling. Ryoga didn't know how to say words so he typed it "NO OMG IM SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING! PLEASE DON'T CRY! D: I'M SO SORRY!"

"I'm Durbe by the way." BooksReader replied, Ryoga smiled he was glad the tears had stopped. "..I'm so sorry for yelling at you Durbe, can you ever forgive me, maybe we can date and.. I was just about to give up on the site and then you.. I'm just so happy!"

He had finally found his perfect soul mate, he was very happy and whispered "Or I could take you somewhere as an apology and…" that's when he hears laughing in the mic.

"Yeah bitch I was joking haha bye loser :)!" Durbe typed to him and hung up the call but then he called back and said, "By the way this isn't Durbe, this is Mizael, bye and stay away from E-harmony, nobody uses that, get duelist love. Yuma's on that, I'm sure you could get him.. everyone thought your profile was a troll, you're the real Ryoga? That is just.. sad.. I may be a Barian but even I have more class than you, you human!"

And then Mizael removed Ryoga from Skype, he also had used Durbe's skype for this because why would he use his? That would be a dumb move. Only Vector had his skype anyway. Vector was boyfriend.

And so Ryoga never found anyone, he joined duelist love, he hoped he would find someone especially this time.

**Spoiler: He didn't find anyone. **


End file.
